This week’s cooltopic:
Web Do's and Don'ts
Article by:The KROW   [Page 1] [Page 2] [Page 3]

Welcome to “FLOPS” Where Reggae Has Our Message...

Bad ploys, bad ploys.
A-whatcha gonna do? A-whatcha gonna do when dey bum for yoo?

Bad ploys, bad ploys.
No body gonna give ya no break
Da Webbyman give ya no break
Da Boss man he give ya no break

Bad ploys, bad ploys.
A-whatcha gonna do? A-whatcha gonna do when dey bum for yooooo??

Flops is produced in front of a live Web audience. Viewers should presume that perps are presumed guilty until proven innocent in a court of Webbieland Law.

“Be Glad He’s So Blue!”

Why would anyone be glad that another person is blue? Sounds kinda rude doesn’t it? Well, not in our case. Today is a good day for blue... a guy *wearing* blue that is. Meet our hero, Webbyland Police Officer Linkey. Today, we’ll be honored by our Net’s finest, as he takes us on a tour of the Do’s and the Don’ts of building a web site! So, gear up and let’s get ready to beat the streets of web site building!

“In the Early Days”

Remember web pages way back when? Think back to the days when everyone coded pages by hand... by the book and in pretty, neat, little lines and breaks after each <P> tag. The coolest thing going was having a patterned background. And if the person was smart enough to know how to place an image on the page *and* link it, then his site was all the rage (even if the page did ramble down some 50,000 pixels long).

Eventually this gave way to those hideous bitmap-type gifs you still see around now and then. You know the kind. It’s a “cartoon-y” image of something such as a flying mail box, or color-changing dots made up to look like flashing lights, skimming horizontally across a page. Stuff like that was cheesy enough to make even the largest macaroni company envious. But back then, everyone pretty much accepted the fact that to have any sort of page on the web, FBTs (flashy, blinky things) included or not, was just the cutting edge thing to do.

Ahhh. But life was simpler then. The web was in its infancy and the code used was about as technical as a billy-club. But, just like the perps Officer Linkey chases down on the street, out in the field Webbies were getting smarter and smarter at making new tools of the trade. They came up with new ideas for web pages, new code and scripts, and new ways to show off their graphics. It was a free-for-all, a mayhem, as webbies all over the world raced to see who could get the coolest new web tricks out there the fastest. By now, the web was packed full of countless but useless pages of “My Cool Web Tricks”, and endless “Under Construction” signs as people ran to learn how to do the next cool thing. It was enough to make Officer Linkey turn in his badge (it was either that, or start writing tickets for “Overuse of Obnoxious Web Signs”)!

And then one day... bandwidth got better and all of the sudden people started getting serious about building web sites. They started working together to come to some sort of commonality of what works and does *not* work on the web (or at least what looks worth the time to really read!).  Through these ideas, it quickly became apparent that a web site would be a great way to make money for a business of any sort and size. But in order to do that, a site had to look, act and feel professional, as any viable business should. Or, as Officer Linkey would put it, they needed to “clean up their act”! And so, the next level of web dev was born. A level of real-time functionality, great interfaces, and easy and fun to use web sites came to fruition.

Since then, web sites have continued to evolve into ever more advanced levels of fuctionalities and user-interactivity. But, through the years, it seems as though there are just some folks out there who still don’t know the “Do’s and Don’ts” of building a truly great, professional web site. And, that’s ok. That’s why Officer Linkey is here. He’s going to throw the book at us and show us what’s really worth Webbies “doing time” for, and what isn’t.

“By Linkey’s Book”

With the millions of sites on the web, there are just about as many cool tricks, effects and designs out there too. With so much going on, who’s to really say what’s “right or wrong” as far as a web site? Oh sure, there is an “official” organization here and there which helps ensure standards are created among the industry. And, this is good. But, Linkey never has been a “standard” kind of Officer! He’s been around for years. He’s seen the good, the bad and the down right ugly of the web.

So, today’s case opens with you, the Webbie. You’ve been assigned the task of building a new web site. And, Officer Linkey will provide you with the clues to solving the crime of a thug-ish web site (after all, it is a crime to put all that time into a web site, only to find you’ve been victim to the latest party gag)!

It’s Your Choice... You Get It Right, or ‘THEY’ Get You!

Obviously, Officer Linkey’s team means business here. This shot was taken just as “Tooth” came across his favorte dog-bone web site. When he entered his credit card number to order his Milkiest-Way Dog Treat Bones, the web site choked, charged his credit card and never verified his order. Tooth has been rather cranky ever since. And, this takes us right into Officer Linkey’s List of Do’s and Don’ts for web sites.

Cool KROW Clue

As we cover the list, Webbies need to keep in mind that, just like there are 16 million colors to design in, there are about as many personal opinions as to what is “right and wrong” for building a web site. But for today, we’re sticking with Officer Linkey’s advice. After all, he *is* a professional!

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